January 2009
“Take me, take me back to your bed. I love you so much that it hurts my head. I...”
– Brand New, Degausser
Tomorrow
Tomorrow will be the first time in three months that I get to see Jon. I’m so excited but nervous. A million things are going through my mind, a million and a half. I’m shaky like a small Chihuahua, in love like a school girl, and longing. I love him so much! The first thing I think I’m going to do is kiss him. Kiss him so that it makes up for ever kiss I’ve missed in this...
“When I first placed my hands on these diaries, scraps of paper, there were notes...”
– Nikki Sixx
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Necrophobia
Necrophobia: Fear of death.
I am not afraid of death so to speak, I have faced it many times before in my life. I have a fear of living with the death of the people that I love. And all of the friends I’ve lost, Pressed knife to skin, barrel to head, rope to neck. I do not wish to die, But I would have never wished that you would have. It’s been a while now and I should have gotten...
“My halo’s tarnished and it’s slipping. Falling from my pedestal I drown in a sea...”
– 3rd-9th line, Fallen angel, Dustmites.
I'm Perfect, Imperfect.
Isn’t it funny how if you take the statement “I’m perfect” and remove the space Imperfect shines through.
I am a flawed individual. I am not a doll, I am not a painting. My mind is unclear, My thoughts are impure, My sins are noted, weighed and measured since birth. But I am growing, I am learning from my mistakes, I am suffering for my sins, I am enjoying every second of...
“You wanna know the truth? If it’s a matter of life and death between...”
– Cillian Murphy [Jonathan Breech]
“If I tell you that I love you will you be mine forever?”
– Me
Everlong In My Own Way
I must have memorized every tone in your voice by now, Replay all the words you’ve told me in my head, Thought about the meanings or the way you looked at me while saying them, Hoping to god that he will never let them fade. This is our everlong in my own way, Always remembered in the specs of gold surrounding your pupils. Staring into them before I always took advantage of them, knowing...
“This story’s old but it goes on and on until we disappear. Calm me and let...”
– Brand New
Kissing In Cars
As we wake up in your room, Your face is the first thing i see. The first time i’ve seen love And the last i’ll ever need. You remind her, That your future, Will be nothing without her. “Never lose her.” “I’m afraid…” Better think of something good to say. But it’s all been done… More than once, But i’ll keep on trying. Oh...
The Day After Tomorrow.
I’ll be in your arms for the first time in months. I’ll feel your kiss and hear your heartbeat. Words cant describe how much I miss that. How I miss everything about you. Just a cluster of hours now, I’m tearing at ever corners of my room, The last grains of sad to reach the bottom of the hourglass are the most exciting, The last hours before I see you could destroy me like a...
“I just need to know that it’s possible that two people can stay happy together...”
– Juno
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The Heart That Beats Behind My Pupils
The first words I ever said to Jon were “I love you”… I was just playing around back then but from that point on every time I’ve said it to him I’ve meant it with all my heart.
I met Jon at a strange point in my life. I had just decided its time for me to change, that the way I have been living was wrong, that I need to find more. The next day Jon came into my life...
“Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever…...”
– Meet Joe Black
Proverbially...
To be completely honest I am still undefined. If you have somehow stumbled across my page and are interested in what I have to say then I suppose I owe you some general information.
I am a chameleon in ways. I can entirely change who I am in a matter of moments if needed. In my case that is both a blessing and a curse. I have hurt a lot of people through out my life and the worst part of it all...