It fucking sucks,
You spend years with someone,
You know learn all these little things about them just to become strangers.
I loved the shit out of that boy,
I wanted to cherish what we had,
Hold onto a good memory.
He wanted to burn it all down like he never cared at all.
I really dont feel like I know him anymore.
When I met him, it was so hard to imagine him doing anything bad.
Now its getting hard to imagine him doing anything good.
Its hard to understand how this is the same man who would play with my hair and kiss my forehead in the middle of the night.
I looked to you as something special, Waited patiently for my reward, Eagerly took any scraps of affection you threw my way. I held onto the day you brought me home and showed me a love I never experienced before you, For three years I held on to that memory like it was just days in the past. My body starved as the scraps became fewer and far between, My yips and whines became louder, Only to annoy you.
I clawed at your door until you let me back in, Enjoyed your love for a week or so, Only to be thrown out again. Driven by loyalty, By the hope that the door would open for good, That you would have realized I was worth it.
It’s time to not be a stray anymore, To understand the love I deserve and not just take the scraps, To not trust anyone as a home, I will make my own.
“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.”—- Eartha Kitt (via happyasatree)
“You will fall in love with me. Then, just months later, you will fall out. I will pretend the entire time that I don’t know it’s coming.”—Miles Walser, excerpt from “A Sonnet of Invented Memories” (via t0kiio)